Rules of the Road

Posted on January 31, 2011 by leighton

I recently read a story that reminded me some Tennessee drivers leave a lot to be desired in the driving skill department. I don’t mean the cliché of us not knowing how to drive properly in wintry weather, which really shouldn’t be held against us because it’s not like we really have to do it often (besides, people from regions that do know how to drive properly in wintry weather can’t make proper iced tea and even completely fail to recognize its importance. One of those is an important skill and the other involves a car). I refer to those individuals who seem to completely lack the ability to follow simple traffic rules. Continue reading →

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This Wasn’t in the Brochure

Posted on January 28, 2011 by leighton

When my wife and I married we didn’t have a lot of money. The only real issue this caused is that we never had what most people consider a honeymoon. We did manage to get away for a couple of days, but had to make choices based on our lack of funds. One of those choices was that we didn’t spend an entire week away. We spent our first two nights together at a local hotel, waited two more days, then headed to Chattanooga for passed for our honeymoon. Our first hotel was moderately upscale and our second was . . . on the other end of the spectrum. Both managed to teach us valuable lessons about hospitality (or lack thereof). Continue reading →

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Spin ‘Til You’re Sick

Posted on January 26, 2011 by leighton

When I was a little kid, I loved spinning around until I got dizzy. I enjoyed the perception that the floor bucked beneath me and swaying back and forth. Of course, that point often wasn’t enough and I spun more and let my arms extend out as I twirled faster and faster. I’d get so dizzy I couldn’t stand and kept falling. Still even then I wanted to spin more. Continue reading →

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The Mother of Invention

Posted on January 24, 2011 by leighton

I try to be a resourceful guy. I’d rather fix something that’s “broken” rather than throw it away even if every bit of information I can find indicates it cannot be fixed. I’d much rather try and fail than simply toss it out. I’m also pretty good at using whatever materials I can scavenge to solve the unexpected problems that invariably arise. Sometimes my resourcefulness saves me money on a replacement and sometimes it saves me from embarrassment. Continue reading →

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He Used to Like Me

Posted on January 21, 2011 by leighton

Before my father-in-law was, uh, my father-in-law, he used to take me hunting on his farm frequently. Larry and I hunted squirrel a couple of times, but the usual was quail. Quail was my favorite because it required less silence. We talked as we walked through the fields and followed his dogs. I looked forward to our excursions even though his oldest daughter, my future wife, did not. Continue reading →

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Read the Bag

Posted on January 19, 2011 by leighton

It’s always a good idea to read instructions or to at least have a general notion of what they would be if you actually did read them. Of course, even if you do read the instructions, you should make sure to read them carefully. It will help you avoid a situation similar to the one in which my friend Kenny entrapped himself. Continue reading →

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Two Funerals in January

Posted on January 17, 2011 by leighton

Every now and then, you experience a moment that is not what you expected or intended. I had such a moment one Monday night in 2009. The revamped Star Trek movie was in theaters and a couple of college students wanted to see one of the original cast’s big screen outing. We of course, skipped Star Trek: The Motion Picture, and started with Wrath of Khan. Everything was fine until [25-year-old spoiler alert] Spock’s funeral. When the bagpiped strains of Amazing Grace played, I lost it. Uncontrollable tears fell and I hunched over and clutched the couch. The college students at first thought I was really in to Star Trek. Once I regained my composure, I explained that it wasn’t the movie. I just experienced an intense memory of one of two funerals in January. Continue reading →

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Catch a Tiger

Posted on January 14, 2011 by leighton

In 2003 I got one of those no-way-you-turn-it-down kind of opportunities one Saturday morning. I got off the phone and realized I accepted without first checking with Chrisie. This could have been very bad, but fortunately, once I told her what I would get to do, she was cool with it (she knew how important to me it was). I changed clothes quickly, barely able to contain my excitement. I was soon going to do something I had long dreamed of. I was going to pet a real tiger. Continue reading →

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Play a Song

Posted on January 12, 2011 by leighton

For one glorious semester in 1993 I was co-host of Morning Madness on Clarksville’s Sound Alternative, the New Magic 91.7 (which was, of course, the campus radio station for APSU, but it sounds more impressive the other way). A guy named Martin shared hosting duties. Martin is from Sweden and had a  . . . different sort of humor. Most of the time, our differing styles created a fresh brand of humor that apparently appealed to a wide demographic. Of course, sometimes, our styles clashed, which still brought the funny. Continue reading →

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Age Appropriate

Posted on January 10, 2011 by leighton

When I started first grade, I almost immediately ran in to one of those arcane policies that only seem to exist in public school districts. At the time, the schools in Clarksville required you to go through the kindergarten reader if you did not attend kindergarten in the district. This policy applied across the board whether it was sensible or not. I attended a Montessori school for both pre-school and kindergarten, so the policy definitely applied to me and I was not happy about that at all. Continue reading →

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