There were basically two reasons I made my mom drive me across town to Magic Wheels skating rink every Friday night instead of the much more convenient Rainbow Roller Rink. Okay, truthfully, there were three reasons, but only two of them ever paid attention to me. Obviously, those reasons were female and the three of us formed a ridiculously silly teenage love triangle. Continue reading →
High School memories are funny things. Some people over romanticize them, and some dwell only on the unhappy ones (which is what I usually do, but mostly because they are funny). For most of my freshman and all of my sophomore and junior years of high school, I had a pretty good friend named Tonia. While she was never my girlfriend, she was definitely my girl friend (that space is an important distinction). We spent a lot of time together and I am convinced that she saved me from having all bad memories. She was a year older and was my constant during the roughest part of those formative years. This doesn’t mean we never ran in to problems of course. Continue reading →
I got my first real job when I was a junior in high school. I was terrified of tardiness, so I always left about twenty to thirty minutes before my shift even though we lived only five minutes from the mall where I worked. I hadn’t even worked there a month the November Saturday I walked out the front door and enjoyed the unseasonably warm temperature. I thought I might actually put the top down on my way to work and looked forward to the drive. Then I saw the flames. Continue reading →
Chrisie and I have a good friend who also happens to be our dentist. On the plus side, he’s the first dentist I never thought performed unnecessary procedures. On the negative side, he knows us well enough to tell us what we need to hear instead of what we want to hear. Continue reading →
From about eighth grade on, I planned to teach music. It was what I Really Wanted To Do. I thought about it daily and even attempted to come up with innovative ways to impart the love of and technical ability for music. No one close to me was surprised when I started my college career as a Music Education major. I thought my first semester would be difficult but rewarding. It was an unmitigated disaster. Continue reading →
One day at work a coworker and I were sharing amusing stories about our relationships when another coworker walked up. He listened for a moment, nodded his head in all the right places, and then said, “Well, I tell you one thing. All I know is men, women, they were made in different ovens.”
“Yeah,” I replied, “Wait, what?”
“Men and women. They were made in different ovens.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Men, women. They are different.”
“Well, yeah, I get that. So why not, ‘men and women are cooked differently,’ or ,’at different temperatures,’ or something? Where’s this extra oven come from?”
“I just men they are different.” He’s completely right, of course. Continue reading →
I will never forget the first day I saw the girl who eventually became my wife. I won’t forget because that moment is fixed in my memory and I consider it often, lest any of the details fade too much. I also remember it because none of my friends will let me live it down. Continue reading →
You might want to read what essentially became part one and part two first.
Before my alarm went off, I woke without opening my eyes. I stretched and grinned like an idiot. I let out a deep, contented sigh. I woke up happy. Really happy. The kind of happy usually only reserved for syrupy musical romances. The kind of happy that makes you tell everyone who’ll listen how wonderful a day it is (you also tell everyone who doesn’t listen). I was stupid happy. I thought nothing could sully my mood. I thought. Continue reading →
Even though I was never any good at asking women out, I still went on dates. I always wanted one of those dates you see in movies where everything just kind of comes together naturally and provides an amazing time for the couple. I’ll never forget the first time it finally happened for me. The night I had one perfect date. Emphasis on one. Continue reading →
I was never good at asking women out. No matter how smooth I sounded when I practiced (yes, I practiced – don’t judge me), I never managed a level above not quite painfully awkward. Even though I eventually accepted I just don’t have game, I tried again and again anyway. When you usually get a “no,” you have a lot of opportunities. Once though, I almost pulled off the perfect request. Almost. Continue reading →
Stories Now Told