It Wasn’t Supposed to Be That Funny

Posted on October 6, 2010 by leighton

In my junior year of high school, there was a girl. She was the type of girl I was not attracted to. She was blonde, perky, preppy, and popular. She seemed to be caught up in appearances and social standing. She was very concerned of what others though of her. She drove a cute little car and had an irritating smile coupled with a little derisive laugh. She thought she was better than everybody (to be fair, she was better that a lot of us), and wasn’t afraid to tell you. She was the antithesis of all I desired in a woman and the epitome of all I detested. Naturally, I was infatuated with her. Continue reading →

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Certified

Posted on October 4, 2010 by leighton

Anyone who had ever attended more than one college level course has run in to a particular type of professor that is completely taken with him- or herself. They are the type to mention what degrees they have, all their professional certifications, everything they have published (and often assign their work for a report), and anything else they believe it is important for you to know. They usually have the hardest courses that are actually easy to pass. All you have to know is the right buttons to push. Continue reading →

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Crawling With Life

Posted on October 1, 2010 by leighton

Very early one Sunday morning, my wife came in the bathroom to find me sitting on the floor with my legs splayed out in front of me. An open bottle of rubbing alcohol and a bag of cotton balls were within reach and I grasped a pair of tweezers. She took one look at the strange rash covering my legs and thighs and asked, “What happened?” With tears in my eyes, I began to explain, how I reached this point. It actually the week before. Continue reading →

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Down with OCD?

Posted on September 29, 2010 by leighton

The other night, Chrisie came back from shopping with treats for everyone, including me. She had bought each of us some of our favorite candy. For me, she got a movie theater sized box of Bottle Caps. While I adore Bottle Caps, I knew I might be in for a bit of teasing. I knew this because I know my wife well and also because she sported and absolutely wicked grin. Continue reading →

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Beth, I Hear You Calling

Posted on September 27, 2010 by leighton

On September 27, 1994 I had surgery to repair an inguinal hernia. It was the first time I ever had an operation and I learned many things. I learned that operations never start on time, that you should always say yes when the Anesthesiologist asks if you want something to help you relax (I foolishly said no), and that I am allergic to Demerol (a common narcotic painkiller). Deathly allergic. Continue reading →

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Back Down South (From Up North)

Posted on September 24, 2010 by leighton

After a long week in New Hampshire, I was looking forward to returning home. The people I worked with had been nice, but I craved familiar surroundings, the company of my family, and people who didn’t ask me to “say ya’ll” and who understood what gravy is. As I drove toward Hartford Connecticut to catch my flight I knew that I’d probably have an interesting security check, but at least I would soon be on my way home. I planned for an uneventful flight. I didn’t get one. Continue reading →

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Just Around the Corner

Posted on September 22, 2010 by leighton

Back in 2000, my wife Chrisie and I were visiting friends in Virginia for spring break. We decided to go to Washington, D.C. because Chrisie hadn’t been there since she was very young (and all she remembered was rushing from one place to the next). We traveled with a dear friend named Grant, his father, and Grant’s friend Stephen. Stephen had actually interned on Capitol Hill the summer before and recommended a great place to eat around lunch time. When asked where it was he replied, “It’s not far at all.” He lied. Continue reading →

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What Does Blue Mean?

Posted on September 20, 2010 by leighton

When children ask a question, they are often seeking more that a simple answer. They are actually forming a perspective on the world and they will use the given answer to inform the way they see it. I have occasionally not given my daughter’s questions the import they deserve, but I often take them more seriously than she does. I usually do my best not to “just give an answer,” but also provide context, or better yet, and opportunity to explore farther. The outcome of this is that sometimes a moment of magic enters our lives and everybody’s world gets a little more interesting. Continue reading →

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That Did Not Work Out at All

Posted on September 17, 2010 by leighton

I can be extremely charming (even my wife will attest to this). I was once told that I was effortlessly charming. That’s true to an extent, I wasn’t trying to be charming so I wasn’t expending any effort. That’s the problem. When I do expend effort and try to be charming, I am not charming at all (my wife will attest to this as well). I knew this long before I was married, but always forgot when it was important.

Continue reading →

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Packet of Wisdom

Posted on September 15, 2010 by leighton

Wisdom is found in interesting places. Some enjoy the wisdom passed down through their families from generation to generation. Some travel to distant lands to seek it from solitary men living on mountain tops. Some search for it within the pages of holy books while others seek it from the natural world. I once found wisdom sitting unnoticed on the table of a greasy spoon hole in the wall restaurant in Clarksville, TN. Continue reading →

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